If you don't want my help? Fine. I won't bother wasting my breath.

You two are driving me insane as-is. I'm sick of this bullshit. I don't mind helping you, but what's the damn point if you won't listen to me or let me help you at all in the first place? It's a waste of time and energy.

Have fun making yourselves better. I won't bother looking for you.

Okay, Sakura?

We need to talk.

I need to

I need something to

This is getting to be too much. Just, right now. One--one damn thing after another here, I don't think I can

alkjdsklfjsldkjdammitdammitDAMMITFUCKINGFUCKITTOHELLTHISISINSANEWHATTHEHELLDID

.

.

.

Sakura--what do you say to a walk? Just you and me. It's getting a little warmer. We'll have some fun on your birthday, okay?

((Strikes hackable))

It's come to my attention that Sakura Kinomoto has become very popular around here. No surprise there. Kid's good at making friends.

Only problem is, I don't know too many of you that well.

So, it'd be real great if everyone who considers themselves friends with Sakura Kinomoto would just leave me a comment with your name and your room number so we can get to know each other a little better.

Hey, I'll even go first--Name's Torn Veras. I'm currently Sakura's guardian.  They've got me hold up in room  101, but usually I'm around room  107. 

No, seriously, who the hell nominated Sakura and I? Not that it wouldn't be nice to see her win, just why exactly was I needed on the ballad? 

((but hackable))

...Valentines day already. You've got to be kidding me.

And if today wasn't crummy enough, it just had to be Valentines day.

Shit.

Sakura, before you say one thing, no, I will not be making any cards with you.

Holy Hell, I officially cannot afford to be in solitary again.

Is there any reason why things go to hell around here when I'm not about?

Regardless, if you've got news, fill me in.

((What follows is a previously deleted entry from the patient's time in solitary))

I hate being sick. Constantly uncomfortable, rendered useless, obnoxiously random dreams. Usually I'm not one to even fall ill, but when I do, it comes down hard. I'm banking on the time outside. A kick to the immune system coupled with bacteria in the food or in the air. Something.

I only ever dream when I'm sick. Crazy, fever induced, previously stated obnoxiously random dreams. And I knew it would happen, too. I knew that eventually I'd dream about Silent Hill, Maine. It just had to be the day my imagination was being vindictive. Though, for all intents and purposes, it wasn't exactly Silent Hill. It couldn't have been--I don't know the first thing about the town's layout, or even very extensively the world most from there see. But I knew it was Silent Hill--in the dream. My own twisted version of Silent Hill.

There was the rust I've heard described. The decay and the blood. And many monsters, that later turned human after I'd beaten them  to death with my pipe. (I don't remember finding the pipe. It was just there. Once, I think it became a 2 by 4, actually). Eventually, I realized I was there to find Ashe, which, lets face it, is utterly ridiculous. Past the fact the world created for most from the town is just a drug induced fantasy, if anyone could survive that hell, it would be her. My help would not be needed. Not saying I wouldn't give it, It would just wouldn't be needed. It'd be laughed at.

Still...it was very frightening. I blame the cold. Then Aliens came, and I also blame the cold for them, because

This is stupid. Screw it.

((end of entry))

Apparently just because you're in solitary doesn't mean you get to skip on your sheet. Huh.

Your Name: Torn
Suicidal Ideation: None
Homicidal Ideation: ...None
Amount of Sleep Last Night: Up late talking to Cybil. Up later going over what we talked about. Little to no, basically.
Any Lucid or Vivid Dreams? Explain.: No.
Moods Experienced Today: Worry. Anger. Regret.
Mood Triggers: Sakura and her needle-happy therapist
Significant Thoughts of the Day: Everything better still be in one piece when I get out of here.
Favorite Time of Day and Why: Huh.
Least Favorite Time of Day and Why: Being an idiot.
How You Are Enjoying Your Therapy: 
Noticeable Improvements: 

There. cough. Done.

...don't tell me I'm coming down with something, too.

Your Name: Torn
Suicidal Ideation: None
Homicidal Ideation: None
Amount of Sleep Last Night: Some. Up late as usual.
Any Lucid or Vivid Dreams? Explain.: None, though how much you want to bet I'll dream about Maine in the next couple of nights?
Moods Experienced Today: A wide variety. Probably the whole spectrum. It was a long day.
Mood Triggers: Harry and Sakura, then back to James and Silent Hill. Fun times. 
Significant Thoughts of the Day:
Favorite Time of Day and Why: Outside. Dorks.
Least Favorite Time of Day and Why: Discovering James
How You Are Enjoying Your Therapy: 
Noticeable Improvements: 

No time to write her today. Doubt she'll mind considering I never send the stupid things anyways.



cough

...I feel good this morning. No clue why, just do. Like after an afternoon nap good or something. Don't laugh, I do remember those.

It's very clear outside today. Very cold, but very clear. Good for a walk.

There's no point in filling out a sheet. I didn't do anything yesterday and I'm not feeling any better.

What am I still doing here? Waiting out the week...

This place...is not what I expected. No locks on doors. No patrol. Lenient and incompetent staff as far as I've seen. Its ridiculous.

The way this place is run is laughable. I mean, I met another patient today, a girl in her teens with amnesia and narcolepsy of all things, wandering up and down the boys wing, lost as all get out. On her own. She was under the impression she was still state-side and with her brother (though I still don't know whether or not her brother is actually committed or not. And if it turns out that he is, I'll ring his neck for letting his sister out of his sights). A patient with delicate needs like her should NOT be left to her own devices. Not here.

Whoever it is who decided she'd be fine on her own is going to get a broken nose if--when I meet them.

...I shouldn't be here. I'm not crazy or delusional. My mind works fine, I'm just...

...

...well, I am already here. And I hate flying. Last night's was horrible. I guess I'll stay.

001: Day Seventeen

Your Name: Torn
Suicidal Ideation: None
Homicidal Ideation: Just towards whatever idiot decided Sakura could be left on her own.
Amount of Sleep Last Night: No more than an hour. The flight over was horrible.
Any Lucid of Vivid Dreams? Explain.: Rarely do I remember my dreams.
Moods Experienced Today: Confusion, disappointment, anger, depression, some...slight amusement.
Mood Triggers: Sakura and just this place in general.
Significant Thoughts of the Day: Why did I decide to come here? And what have I gotten myself into?
Favorite Time of Day and Why: None. Today was taxing.
Least Favorite Time of Day and Why: Here, alone in the Night room. Well...fairly alone. Might as well be alone.
How You Are Enjoying Your Therapy: What therapy?
Noticable Improvements: ...I'll get back to you on that.

So, we get a journal, huh? Waste of space if you ask me...